Recaps / Television

Many will die, and Scream Queens will win


Grace Gardner has no one to blame but herself. Her dad tried warning her about what goes on behind closed sorority house doors. It’s a real-life Game of Thrones, he says, and never has a popular culture reference been so surprisingly accurate than in Fox’s Scream Queens. King Joffrey’s reincarnated as Chanel Oberlin, the queen bee of Kappa House — a modern day Dr. Evil with minions to match, minions with names that could pass as fragrances (Chanel No. 5, Chanel No. 2, Chanel No. 3).

And in sticking to the GOT mold, this is my best advice to you as a Scream Queens viewer: Don’t get too attached to any of this show’s secondary characters. Thus far, the show’s biggest stars seem protected, but at the rate they’re going…

Of course, Scream Queens is not GOT. It’s about the Kappa Kappa Theta sorority, the most admired and hated on Wallace University’s campus, in 2015, the 20-year anniversary of a crime that was committed at the house, and a murderer in a red devils suit lurking in the shadows and killing anyone related to KKT. It’s dramatic and juvenile, cut from the same cloth as an ABC Family show, but who isn’t obsessed with Pretty Little Liars and who didn’t make watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager a weekly ritual while it was still juicy?

Scream Queens will have an audience, one that’s discussing theories every week. Have we met the killer already? What do Dean Munsch, Grace’s dad and Ms. Bean have to do with the 1995 crime? Who’s really the baby in the bathtub? Is Ms. Bean really dead? Is Chad also gay? Is Hester Ulrich a closet sociopath? Will Chanel every get her no-foam Pumpkin Spice Latte done right?

We know at least one character will die each episode, which will keep the show entertaining, and count me in if there are more lawn mower beheadings. What gets me is the hilarious script of brutal stereotypes and present pop culture references. I didn’t expect to laugh so much, though I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to.

Emma Roberts is a real power player as Chanel, the HBIC, but the first two episodes (“Pilot” and “Hell Week”) set up Grace (Skyler Samuels) to be the heroine. She’s there, she thinks, to turn KKT into a respectable sorority that she imagines her mother was a part of it before she died. But we know better.

She’s in a heap of trouble already. She was semi-dating the guy, Pete, who might be KKT’s stalking serial killer and within an episode she became an accomplice to murder after Chanel burnt Ms. Bean’s face off — a turn of events we all saw coming. And she’s the anti-Chanel, a fun friction that’ll continue to develop.

I thought she was the baby in the bathtub, and maybe she is, but “Hell Week” got out the pepper and took my dogs off the scent for now. You win this round. And if Scream Queens can keep us guessing for 15 episodes, it’s going to win.


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