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“New Girl”: That is why God made crystals

The bees are swarming and it’s time for Jess to fully disclose her relationship with Mr. G to the rest of the teaching staff at school, but she hasn’t found the courage.

Coach is there to give her a little push because he wants some teacher tail, but the first time she tries to tell everyone it doesn’t go over well. Why? Because there’s nothing to legitimize it, so it has to be a joke. “I don’t see no ring,” Mrs. Raws says. I’m not sure why Ryan doesn’t step up to defend her or help her out either. The one thing that legitimizes their relationship for her is locked up inside her because she hasn’t found the right time to tell Ryan how she really feels.

All she needed was Winston’s crystal hanging around her neck. It’s a powerful force that gives Coach the courage to country line dance and Jess the courage to tell Ryan, in front of the rest of her teaching staff, that she loves him. He loves her back, and so on. The “L” word is all Jess needed to keep the other eligible teachers off of her boyfriend, but I didn’t expect it. Coach’s reaction to it best portrays my reaction, when Jess says “I love this man,” and he lets out a surprised “Oh.”

It quiets the crowd, but that crowd was one of the main things that made the “Coming Out” episode of New Girl so funny. The teachers are more active and sassy than ever before. Ruth (Erinn Hayes) has her best episode since she and Coach were sleeping together. She and Deb (Sarah Burns) make an imposing tag team. Mrs. Raws (Helen Slayton-Hughes) and the Biology teacher (Brian Posehn) are also nailing jokes one after the other.

My favorite thing: The biology teacher’s simulated conversation with his mom and subsequent angsty, teenager imaginary back-and-forth was an amazing bit of comedy.


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