“New Girl”: I have a Sesame Street problem

Sometimes Jess tries really hard to be the voice of reason, like when the boys sit at the bar and judge women based on their boob size. Often she realizes she can be a little hypocritical, but let’s get one thing straight: micro penises are in a whole other realm than boob size and the comparison is barely fair.

But this is the pickle Ms. Day gets herself into when she claims she won’t be bothered Matt’s penis problem enough that she can’t date him for at least a month. Silly her, she doesn’t take into account the possibility that she’s going to hate his graffiti artist guts and everything else about him. For example, she doesn’t mind that fact that he drinks ScoRos, but she can’t stand that he calls them that.

“Micro” is a classic what’s-on-the-outside episode, that I’m only getting to review now because I’ve been busy and “New Girl” has been on a World Series break. It’s a testament to what matters in a relationship and show runner Liz Meriweather sneakily resolves that it’s, in fact, personality over appearance. Although Matt’s situation is frantically discussed, it’s actually his bro persona and the fact that he’s sneaking around on his girlfriend that turns Jess away.

It’s another smart season four episode, and I can’t think of any other show on television, past or present, that crafted 30 minutes around such a topic. What it does is lay the groundwork for tons of great lines from Schmidt especially (“When I look at that picture, I think, ‘Is there a God?’ And if there is, did he run out of clay?” … “He’s wearing skinny jeans. They fit him like sweatpants!”)

Schmidt and Coach, meanwhile, are caught in the middle of a classic Cece-Winston mess around in which Cece claims she can make one of them models. This story does exactly what Jess dreams it would, though she’s not apart of it. As the two roommates who care most about their own outer appearance, the prank brings their insecurities to the surface. It proves Jess’ theory that everyone has their own figurative micro penis.

My favorite thing: Winston’s “Sesame Street” problem needs to be discussed. He prefers women with boobs like Cookie Monster’s eyes — going in different directions. And he’d be “DONE” if Jess was in a yellow bird suit with that wonky right knee of hers.

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