New Girl: The one with the weirdest hookup ever


Here’s a nice formula for an episode of New Girl. Take Coach away and put him on a date with Cece, who has become a laughably irrelevant character this season. Put Nick and Winston together and make them look for something, like Winston’s cat. Use Jess, a person who likes to stop people from doing things, to try to single-handedly keep Schmidt from breaking up Coach’s date with Cece at the Staples Center.

That’s what the writers did for this week’s “Longest Night Ever” episode and it worked. Winston is relaunching himself into the wild without one of Schmidt’s rebranding parties, which initially seems like another ploy the writers used to get Winston out of an episode completely. He asks Nick, the world’s worst babysitter, to watch his cat. He loses the cat. How do we know Nick’s the world’s worst babysitter? Exhibit A: His plan to control Schmidt.

But Nick and Winston end up doing laps around the park looking for the cat and somebody texts Winston to let him know that they found the cat and have it at their house. Winston, who hasn’t had a date in a long time, clicks with the woman who found his cat as weird as it seems. She’s a bus driver with a hamster. She’s dirty and Winston is into it. Nick’s in a funny spot, too, thrust in between the two of them as their sexual tension bleeds out of the walls. He gets out of there because Winston is going to go for it. Is he reaching a little? We’ll see if he has any reaction in next week’s episode.

Meanwhile, Jess hits Schmidt with her car — twice — to stop him from running to the Staples Center. To be fair, the idea was Schmidt’s. Maybe Jess needed this. Maybe she needed to hit Schmidt with something to get over her pent up rage toward him for cheating on her best friend and trying to break up her and Nick. Did it have to be a car? It’s funnier that way, at least.

The point is that she stopped Schmidt from doing something stupid, even though it backfired on both of them later. Coach and Cece were basically dry humping in front of the building door, so Schmidt and Jess stayed outside until it was over. This is when Jess delivers one of the best lines of the episode: “This is getting me going. Nick has some work to do.”

This was a nice episode to bring friends back together and put things on the table. Nick understands now that Winston thinks Ferguson is his best friend. Schmidt is in love with Cece and wont accept anybody else, but Jess knows he needs to try to let her go — but, first, Coach has to. Get it?


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