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New Girl: The one with all the bad choices

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Nick and Jess (or should it be Jess and Nick) ran away together at the end of last season, only we didn’t know where to. They didn’t either, until Nick woke up as Jess was driving into Mexico (her eyes so wide she realistically could’ve been taking shots of 5 Hour Energy straight into the vein) and much to Nick’s initial shock, he doesn’t want to go back to the loft where Schmidt is leaving voicemails every two minutes on Nick’s water-logged phone.

We know the pair is troublingly indecisive, as evidence of their frank breakup and get back together one-act play in last year’s season finale. They wanted to call their relationship off after that one glorious night that set the Internet on fire, but after Cece’s wedding they realized they “really like” each other (times like a million). They’re indecisive in Mexico, too, as neither of them wants to acknowledge the idea of not returning, until Nick finally does just before shredding his passport on the wrong side of the US border.

They resemble Cory and Topanga as newlyweds in Boy Meets World. Cory and Topanga don’t want to go home either, but they take it much further than Nick and Jess — Cory opens up a coconut face store. But Nick entertains the idea.

Meanwhile, Schmidt has a decision to make that we spent all summer talking about online. Elizabeth or Cece? Much to our surprise, Schmidt settles on Elizabeth because he was dating her first, reminding us all of when we “got here first” as kids. But it’s Schmidt, and he really didn’t decide; instead, he picks both of them and we see how hard that’s going to be at the end of the episode when both of them want to hang out with him on the same night. However, Schmidt’s response to Elizabeth’s invitation may shine some light on how this is going to go. He tells Elizabeth that there seems to be a conflict with hanging out tonight. Without saying it, he’s chosen to hang out with Cece; after all, Cece called him first. (Note: next week is reportedly Merritt Weaver’s last on the show)

But the bulk of the story is Nick and jess, as creator Liz Meriwether told us it would be. They want time alone, like any new couple, to try things (they pull of the road to have sex) and start a fresh relationship, but Schmidt and Winston come off like their children because Schmidt can’t make a decision and Winston can’t stand Schmidt. Believe it or not, the honeymoon (they’re not married, though) was over in the matter of about 30 minutes.

I think the trial and error of going to Mexico, where they tried being squatters for a day (two?) raised some important, open-ended questions to set the groundwork for the rest of the season. That is not how Nick and Jess will deal with “living together already,” but how Schmidt and Winston will handle it — when, so clearly, they’re not fans of the situation.

At the end of this season premiere we are left with more questions than answers. Seriously, who will Schmidt pick? Will Nick’s return save Winston from insanity? Can Nick and Jess coexist as roommates and lovers?

The show is treading into unfamiliar waters. We’re supposed to believe that Nick and Jess are really happy together, but a cloud hangs over the loft. They didn’t want to go back to 4D because they’d have to face the roommates, as they did briefly before screaming and running away. What’s going to happen next episode when that’s where they’re living and they’re not stealing resort bracelets from kids?


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